NOBODY FAMOUS ~ drama bahasa inggris

NOBODY FAMOUS

Cast of Characters

BRENDA         : An actress who has a chance at being famous.

HEATHER       : Brenda's slightly ditsy friend who takes her to see Mooch.

MOOCH           : A fortune teller who is having an insightful day.

JO                    : An angry customer of Mooch's who didn't like her prediction.

GINA               : Brenda's agent.

BONNIE          : A Hollywood casting director.

There is also the VOICE OF REPORTER that can be prerecorded.

Time and Place

Present day psychic reading parlor.

Scene 1

(Front room of Madame Mooch's Mystery Readings and Message Parlor. BRENDA waits impatiently alone. HEATHER appears from a curtained area)

BRENDA : This is so stupid, can we go now? It's Saturday night and there�s other places I'd rather be...

HEATHER : (Rushes in UC from curtains) You'll never guess who she said I was in one of my past lives.

BRENDA : Let's see. Cleopatra?

HEATHER : How did you know?

BRENDA : Psychic's always say women were Cleopatra! For some reason, everyone wants to be  her. Personally, I'd rather have been someone longer lived. What a way to go. Snake bite to the breast. Ouch.

HEATHER :You don't think it's true?

BRENDA : Heather, these people aren't for real. Don't you read the disclaimers? (Holds up brochure)

For entertainment purposes only.

HEATHER : She seems so real, so convincing!

MOOCH : (Enters from curtained area) Oh, sorry. I didn't know anyone was still here?

BRENDA : Yeah, she's real perceptive.

MOOCH : (Ties up curtains so audience can now see a table with a crystal ball on top and two chairs)

Does you friend want a reading?

HEATHER : Yes!

BRENDA : No!

HEATHER : Come on, Brenda. I'll pay for it.

BRENDA : Don't waste your money.

HEATHER : It's just for fun. You said it yourself: for entertainment purposes only. What do you have to fear?

BRENDA : Fear itself?

MOOCH : Come, come. I won't bite.

BRENDA : Yeah, but I might.

HEATHER : There, I paid for it. (Gives MOOCH money)

MOOCH : (Holds bill up to light) I feel my power returning to me.

BRENDA : The power of the U.S. Mint.

HEATHER : Go on.

BRENDA : (Goes UC) Fine, let's get this over with.

MOOCH : (Starts to close curtain) The spirits come to me.

BRENDA : Leave the curtain open. I want witnesses.

HEATHER : You sure you want me to watch. It gets kind of private. (Sits in a nearby waiting room chair)

BRENDA : Private? Then I definitely want you to watch. (Sits in chair by crystal ball)

MOOCH : (Sits in other chair) So what do you want to know?

BRENDA : The quickest way out of here.

HEATHER : Don't be difficult, Brenda. Try to have fun with it.

BRENDA : Fine. What are this week's winning lottery numbers?

MOOCH :3-5-9-20-25-49 and the Powerball is (Draws card from Taro deck) 7.

BRENDA : Pretty specific.

HEATHER : (Writes the numbers down) Why didn't I think to ask that?

BRENDA : What else do you see in the cards?

MOOCH : (Draws more cards) I see your past and your future.

BRENDA : Let me guess. I was Cleopatra too. How is it possible for so many people to be Cleopatra? I know! maybe she had a split personality.

MOOCH : I'm afraid in your past you were nobody famous.

BRENDA : (Surprisingly disappointed) Nobody? Ever?

MOOCH : Never ever.

BRENDA : What about my future?

MOOCH : You will be famous one day.

BRENDA : Now or in a future life.

MOOCH : Would you like to be famous in this life?

BRENDA : What do you mean?

MOOCH : In everyone's life cycles, they are allowed one time to be famous.

BRENDA : Only once huh? (Amused. Smiles at HEATHER)

MOOCH : Do you wish it to be this one?

BRENDA : (Laughs) Sure, why not?

MOOCH : (Her voice booms) Then so be it! (A big boom, like thunder is heard. The lights flicker and go out. When the lights come on again MOOCH is gone)

BRENDA : That was weird.

HEATHER : (Rushes to BRENDA and looks around table) Where'd she go?

BRENDA : Behind the curtain no doubt.

HEATHER : (Checks curtain) It's solid wall behind here.

BRENDA : Then through a trap door. It doesn't matter. Let's go.

HEATHER : (They head for front door) You have to admit. That was pretty spooky.

BRENDA : And completely fake. (Mimics MOOCH) "You can only be famous once in your life cycles."

(Laughs) What a fraud. She's not even a good fake psychic.

JO : (Enters through front door looking around) Oh, where's Mooch? She's never here. (Starts to go and sees BRENDA) Oh, hey! Aren't you that actress?

BRENDA : Who? Me?

JO : Yeah, the one is the play downtown. What's it called? A Brush with Destiny. That's it.

HEATHER : Did you see her?

JO :Yeah, you were incredible.

BRENDA : (Shrugs) Thanks.

JO : Did you see the review in today's paper? (Holds up paper)

HEATHER : You got a review? (Takes paper and looks)

BRENDA : That reviewer is an idiot. He wouldn't know a play if a stage fell on him.

HEATHER : Oh, my gosh. This review is really good.

BRENDA : You're kidding. He never likes anything.

JO : He sure liked you.

HEATHER : (Reads) Brenda Star lives up to her name. Her radiant talent brightens this otherwise ordinary play.

BRENDA : Let me see that. (Takes paper) This is so great! My agent will go nuts.

JO : Maybe I better get your autograph. Sounds like you're going to make it big.

HEATHER : (Pulls out pen and hands it to BRENDA) Here.

BRENDA : (Laughs and signs newspaper) There you go.

JO : Thanks. (Looks around) I guess Madame Mooch stepped out. I'll come back later. (Exits)

HEATHER : We better go get a copy of the paper so you can show your agent.

BRENDA : Wait a minute. This smells like a set up.

HEATHER : What do you mean?

BRENDA : Wasn't that awfully good timing? She says I'm going to be famous and then this guy comes in here and acts like I'm some new star.

HEATHER : But how could she fake that newspaper review?

BRENDA : (Scowls) Good point.

HEATHER : So do you think there might be something to this psychic thing?

BRENDA : It's a coincidence. That's all. (Cell phone rings) Hello? Hi, Gina. (To HEATHER) It's my agent.

HEATHER : I'll bet she saw the review.

BRENDA : Yeah, I read it. (Pause) Very good. (Shocked) What? (Pause) No way.

HEATHER : What is it? What?

BRENDA : (Waves away HEATHER) Shhhh. (To phone) Sorry, my friend is talking to me. (Pause) Yes, let's do it. (Looks around) I hate to admit this, but I'm at some psychic reading place. (Picks up brochure) Madame Moochï! (Pause) You know her. (To HEATHER) My agent's been here. (Pause) Sure I'll wait for her here. (Hangs up phone) You won't believe this.

HEATHER : Probably not, but tell me anyway.

BRENDA : Somebody is filming a movie in town and they saw my show last night. They want me to be in their movie.

HEATHER : You're kidding.

BRENDA : Gina said there are some big stars in it too. One of them had a scheduling conflict and can't come. Gina's bringing the casting director over to see me now. They need somebody immediately and want me to do it.

HEATHER :You'll be famous!

BRENDA : (Stops) This can't be happening. Where is that Madame Money?

HEATHER : Mooch.

BRENDA : Whatever. Come out, Madame! I want a word with you.

HEATHER : Why are you upset? This is wonderful.

BRENDA : I know how these stories go. Remember that story the Monkey's Paw? At first, everything is great. You get everything you wish for, then the bottom drops out.

HEATHER : You are such a wet blanket. Can't you have a little fun?

BRENDA : Fun is for people who are too stupid to prepare for the impending disaster.

HEATHER : I give up. Fine, don't enjoy your instant success. I'm going home.

BRENDA : Don't be mad, Heather. I'm sorry. I have to admit there might be something beyond my comprehension going on here.

HEATHER : See! Isn't this stuff amazing?

BRENDA : Or extremely well contrived. (Calls out) Madame Mooch. I need a word with you.

HEATHER : I wonder why she isn't reappearing.

BRENDA : (Pulls out money) I'm not speaking her language. (Waves bill) I have something green for you.

MOOCH : (Enters) I sense that you require my services.

BRENDA : (Smiles at HEATHER, then looks at MOOCH) I need some information.

MOOCH : Information is my middle name, though my abilities have been weakened by all the recent activity.

BRENDA : (Hands her a bill) There. Feeling better?

MOOCH : A bit better, yes.

BRENDA : Good.

MOOCH : I sense your friend here wants to go.

BRENDA : Do you?

HEATHER : (Looks at watch) Oh, my gosh. I have reservations for five minutes ago. (Waves good-bye)

Thank you, Madame Mooch. Bye Brenda. (HEATHER exits)

BRENDA : That was my money. How come she got a reading?

MOOCH : She paid for you. You paid for her.

BRENDA : Now for my question,

MOOCH : My power is fading.

BRENDA : (Hands her another bill) Feel better?

MOOCH : (Stuffs bill in shirt) Ask your question.

BRENDA : How can Madame Mooch cook up such an elaborate scam?

MOOCH : Madame Mooch didn't scam you. You want to be famous, so you will be famous.

BRENDA : What if I've changed my mind?

MOOCH : It is your destiny now. Don't fight it. Fighting it will only bring doom upon you.

BRENDA : Doom. That's certainly what I'm expecting from all this. Every silver lining has a cloud.

MOOCH : I predict that your bad fortune is over.

BRENDA : I hope you're right.

MOOCH : Unless!

BRENDA : There's always an unless" Okay, give me the bad news.

MOOCH : I must consult the cards. (Goes to her table)

BRENDA : That's probably going to cost me. (Goes to table and sits opposite MOOCH)

MOOCH : (Lays out some cards) The meaning of these cards escape me! (BRENDA sighs and gives her more money) Ah, yes. I see now. Beware the one armed bandit.

BRENDA : You mean slot machines? That's easy. I hate gambling. Ever since that time my boyfriend got kidnapped by a trucker at Sky City Casino, I've refused to go back to one.

MOOCH : (Rises) Beware. Beware the one armed bandit.

BRENDA : Yeah, yeah. You said that already. (MOOCH starts to go) Wait. I have more questions.

MOOCH : No time. You have visitors. (Exits as GINA and BONNIE enter front door)

BRENDA : How did she know that?

GINA : Hey, Brenda. How's my big star? (GINA and BRENDA do a fake kiss on the cheek)

BRENDA : Still in wonder,

GINA : I want you to meet someone. (Drags over BONNIE) This is Bonnie Bandito. He's the casting director for the movie I told you about.

BRENDA : (Reaches out her hand to shake. BONNIE lifts her left arm to shake. BONNIE's right arm is in a sling) Bandito? Oh, (Looks where MOOCH went) Uh, hi!

GINA : Brenda. I thought you'd be more excited. This is a big opportunity.

BRENDA : Sorry, this has all been very sudden.

GINA : Brenda is new to the theatre scene.

BONNIE : She's a natural. She appears to have years of experience.

GINA : So will she work, Bonnie? (To BRENDA) She wanted to meet you before she decided on anything.

BONNIE : I'd like to interview you a bit first.

BRENDA : Yes, I have a few questions also.

GINA : We can sit over here. (BONNIE heads for chairs in waiting room. GINA says to BRENDA quietly)

What is your problem? Get excited.

BRENDA : (Aside to GINA) I have a bad feeling about this.

GINA : Brenda, shush (They go sit near BONNIE)

BONNIE : Would you like to go first or shall I?

BRENDA : I'll go first.

GINA : Bonnie is on a tight schedule. Maybe you ought to let her,

BONNIE : No, I admire her candor. Go ahead Brenda.

BRENDA : I'm going to be frank�

GINA : (Trying to warm) Brenda, ixnay on the...

BRENDA : Why would a big studio want a little small time nobody like me?

BONNIE : You have the look!

BRENDA : (Skeptically) The look?

GINA : (She says excitedly to BRENDA as if understanding BONNIE perfectly) You know, the look.

BRENDA : Perhaps you could explain the look to me a bit more!

BONNIE : You have that natural spark that will light up the screen!

GINA : She does have a spark, doesn't she? La Chizpa as they say.

BONNIE : (She's hands BRENDA an orientation/promotional packet on the movie) Let me be frank also. You are very attractive and our director liked you, a lot. He's known for taking many unknown actresses and making them big stars.

BRENDA : (Looks in packet) This director is also known for wanting a whole lot more from his actresses than is in the contract.

BONNIE : He's very influential, he could take you far.

BRENDA : (Hands back the packet to BONNIE) I'd rather he didn't take me anywhere.

GINA : (Shocked at BRENDA) Brenda! (Tries to laugh it off) She's so funny, isn't she?

BONNIE : We don't need a comedian. (Rises) We need someone who takes direction well.

BRENDA : Then maybe I'm not the right actress for you then.

BONNIE : (To GINA) I thought you said she really wanted this part.

GINA : She told me she did.

BRENDA : How big of a part is this?

BONNIE : That depends on you.

BRENDA : What does that mean?

GINA : (A bit deflated) Wait. I thought you said this was a big part.

BONNIE : So far, today, I'm not seeing what I want! (Gets up) Maybe this was a mistake!

GINA : (Jumps up to stop BONNIE) No, wait. I don't understand. I thought we had an agreement.

BONNIE : Sorry, I can already tell it's not going to work out. (Starts to exit)

GINA : But, (Starts after her) Wait!

BRENDA : Let her go, Gina. (BONNIE shakes her head at them and exits)

GINA: What was that all about?

BRENDA : That director is infamous for wanting something I don't want to give.

GINA : But I really went on a limb on this one for you!

BRENDA : I'm sorry, but I don't think they were really interested in my acting skills.

GINA : Look, Brenda. What did you expect? Being a star involves give and take.

BRENDA : Sorry, but I don't want to give what he wants to take.

GINA : Then maybe you need to find another agent.

BRENDA : What?

GINA : Maybe Morality Movie Studio is looking for actresses. Oh, wait. There's no such thing. See you, Brenda. Thanks for nothing. (GINA exits)

BRENDA : (To self) Wow, Madame Mooch. You sure were right about this one.

HEATHER : (Returns) Wow, Gina sure didn't look happy. What happened?

BRENDA : I just blew my chance at fame and fortune.

HEATHER : Why'd you do that?

BRENDA : Forget it. What are you doing back here?

HEATHER : Dan called and canceled our dinner date so I went and bought a lottery ticket. I used Madame Mooch's numbers.

BRENDA : That was a waste of a dollar.

HEATHER : It was worth a try.

BRENDA : Let's go, okay?

JO : (JO enters) I can't wait any longer. (She's nervous. She blocks their exit) Where's Madame Mooch?

BRENDA : In her secret room laughing at us no doubt. (Tries to go) Can we get by please?

JO : (Won't move from doorway) I want to see Mooch now!

BRENDA : All you have to do is wave a few dollars around. She'll appear.

JO : Maybe if I wave this instead! (Pulls out gun)

HEATHER : She's got a gun!

BRENDA : Hey, now lady. We don't want any trouble.

JO : Well, that's what you're going to get unless I see Mooch.

BRENDA : My guess is that she's heading out the back door as we speak.

JO : Afraid not. I blocked her back door with my car.

BRENDA : I don't know what your problem with her is, but it has nothing to do with us. So if we could just go,

JO : You're witnesses now. You stay.

HEATHER : Witnesses?

JO : To a crime.

BRENDA : You know what? No crime has been committed. As far as I can tell, you have a permit for that gun. No crime. No problem. Let's go, Heather.

JO : Both of you sit down now! (BRENDA and HEATHER find chairs and sit) Come out here, Mooch before I start shooting into those rice paper walls of yours. There's no telling what I'll hit.

MOOCH : Hello, Jo. What do you want?

BRENDA : Oh, great. Now we know her name. So much for not being a witness.

JO : I want my life back, Mooch. The one you stole from me.

HEATHER : She stole your life?

JO : She told my husband that I was sleeping around and then my husband left me.

MOOCH : I can not hide the truth.

JO : But that wasn't the truth. I've been faithful to my husband.

MOOCH : Have you?

JO : I've never slept with anyone else since I married him.

MOOCH : What about Mark?

JO : Mark? You mean my old boyfriend?

MOOCH : Did you sleep with him?

JO : Not since I've been married.

MOOCH : Oh, dear. I guess my visions got crossed.

JO : "Oh, dear." Is that all you can say?! You ruined my life and you just say, "Oh, dear."

BRENDA : I can't believe your husband would leave you based on something some two-bit psychic would say.

MOOCH : How dare you call me a...

JO : Shut up, Mooch. (To BRENDA) She had some help. After Mooch told my husband about Mark, my husband paid Mark a visit. Mark never got over our breakup so he has some hard feelings. So Mark told my husband that Mooch was right.

HEATHER : That's not good.

BRENDA : So between Mooch here and Mark, your husband was sure you were lying.

JO : (Holds gun up to MOOCH's head) So psychic lady, can you see what's in your future?

MOOCH : Sorry, I can't predict the future for myself.

JO : Well, let me give you some help. (Pulls trigger. Click. No bullets. MOOCH faints. HEATHER screams)

Where'd I put my gun clip?

BRENDA : Run, Heather! (BRENDA pulls HEATHER toward door)

HEATHER : What about Mooch?

BRENDA :We'll call the cops.

JO : (Finds clip and puts it in gun. Points it at them just as they get to the door) Hold it! (BRENDA and HEATHER freeze) Turn around and come back slowly.

HEATHER : We're gonna die.

JO : Quit blubbering and sit down.

HEATHER : Are you going to kill us?

JO : No, I don't want to kill anyone.

BRENDA : It looked like you wanted to kill Mooch.

JO : I only wanted to scare her.

BRENDA : (Goes to fallen MOOCH) I think you succeeded. Can we go now?

JO : I was hoping it would be enough. But still, I don't feel like,

HEATHER : (Sees flashing lights out window) I think we have a problem.

JO : Who called the cops?

BRENDA : We didn't.

JO : Mooch must have called them before she came out. Now what do I do?

BRENDA : Surrender. You haven't really done anything, yet.

MOOCH : (Wakes up) Am I still alive or has someone summoned my spirit?

JO : Unfortunately you're still among the living. Now get up before that changes. (BRENDA and HEATHER help MOOCH up)

MOOCH : I see the police have arrived.

JO : No thanks to you.

MOOCH : I saw danger in my future so I took the liberty of calling them.

HEATHER : Isn't she amazing?

JO : Perhaps you can see a way out of this for me.

BRENDA : Give yourself up. It's the only way.

HEATHER : (Looks to window) Now I think there's a news crew.

MOOCH : Oh, think of all the publicity.

JO : I have to know what's going on out there. Turn on your TV, Mooch. (MOOCH goes to TV and turns it on)

REPORTER : (Voice) We're live outside Madame Moose's shop:

MOOCH : Mooch not Moose.

JO : I think I like Moose better.

REPORTER : (Voice) The police say the suspect is armed and dangerous.

JO : That doesn't sound good.

BRENDA : Maybe if you tell them your story then they'll go easy on you.

JO :That might give me some satisfaction being able to tell the news what a big fraud she is.

MOOCH : Can't you shoot me in the foot and run. That would be much better for business.

JO : How about I shoot you in the foot AND talk to the reporter.

HEATHER : Shhh. Wait. They have the lottery numbers at the bottom of the screen.

BRENDA : Heather. Can't that wait?

HEATHER : Three! I've got a three.

BRENDA : Heather, please, not,

HEATHER : Five! Got a five!

BRENDA : Heather,

HEATHER : Nine! We've got three numbers.

JO : You've got to be kidding.

HEATHER : Twenty! We're winning!

BRENDA : (Getting into it) Twenty-five. We have twenty-five.

HEATHER : 49!

BRENDA : And the Powerball is,

HEATHER : Seven! We won!

MOOCH : I told you so.

BRENDA : We won! We won! (Dances around with HEATHER and JO)

JO : (HEATHER and BRENDA are still jumping up and down. JO looks at her gun. Looks at them. MOOCH stops them and points to JO) So how much did you win?

BRENDA : Not much.

HEATHER : Only 95 million.

JO : 95 million! Dollars?

MOOCH : No, Powerballs.

JO : Shut up! (To HEATHER and BRENDA) This changes everything. (Points gun and holds out hand) Hand over the ticket. (JO is distracted so MOOCH sneaks around behind her)

BRENDA : Easy come, easy go.

HEATHER : No,

BRENDA : No, what?

HEATHER : No, I'm not giving her our ticket. This is our ticket.

BRENDA : Heather, this is no time to get a backbone.

HEATHER : But we won it. It's ours.

BRENDA : (Shrugs and smiles sheepishly at JO) It's amazing what a few million can do to a person.

JO : Hand it over or I'll take it off your dead body.

MOOCH : (Picks up crystal ball and moves behind JO) Oh, Jo?! (JO turns and MOOCH smashes it on her head) She didn't see that coming. (JO falls to the ground and passes out) So what do you girls say to sharing that ticket?

HEATHER : Sure! I think I could spare a million or two.

BRENDA : It's the least we could do. I assume there's a "we" in this deal.

HEATHER : Of course, I wouldn't have bought this without you.

BRENDA : I have to ask you, Mooch, are you always picking winning numbers?

MOOCH : Never. I got lucky this time.

BRENDA : Incredible.

HEATHER : I think we better go get the police before Jo wakes up.

MOOCH : I�ll get them. Keep an eye on her. (Runs out door)

BRENDA : What a story. Those reporters will be all over us.

HEATHER : We'll be famous.

END OF PLAY